I know that my title is a little bratty but bear with me.
Yesterday I read an article with this title:
Study: unemployed feel 'traumatized' by recession.
I didn't blog about it yesterday because at first blush, the article seemed fairly obvious and irrelevant. That was my mistake. Overnight, I kept thinking about this article and getting more frustrated with the whole idea of this.
When I was unemployed (roughly 4 years ago for 4 months) I wasn't in danger of losing my house (I rented) or going bankrupt or hurting my family (I was flying nearly solo at that point) but the experience was incredibly stressful. I had unemployment and savings and as much stability as one can find without knowing when they'll find another job. And yet, I was a mess. Sure, the first month or so was great - it was summer, I wasn't working, etc. But as the days grew shorter and my calendar remained devoid of interview appointments, I started suffering from what I can only assume were anxiety attacks.
For those of you who have been unemployed for any amount of time (especially those who, like me, suffer from a certain tendency to overachieve) will understand this anxiety - my father was out of work for 18 months while I was in college and I know he remains changed by the experience - but more and more it's looking like this is not as common sense as we might think.
When I was unemployed, a "friend" of mine basically told me to quit my whining, that I was lucky to not be working. Admittedly, she wasn't the most sensitive person I've ever met but beyond that, I think there is a stress from being unemployed (even when your circumstances remain fairly stable) that we don't quite understand until we're in the thick of it.
Trouble sleeping... strained relations with family members... increased dependency on alcohol... Check. Check. And check. Been there.
Beyond the worries about money and security, there's a general unease that comes with unemployment. In a society so based around what we do and how "successful" we are at work, who are you when you don't have a job?
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5 months ago
I was a wreck when I was unemployed most recently, and I've been in that situation at least three times in the last six years.
ReplyDeleteThe difference this time around was the monthly rent payment (previously I ended up at my parents') coinciding with the gradual dissolution of a serious relationship. I had anxiety attacks, I was sick nearly constantly (I even got shingles, what the fuck?), and, unsurprisingly, my depression was pretty far above the standard background level.
However, it was frustrating and stressful for more than just seeing my savings bleed away -- the portfolio project I had started hit a dead end, the number of companies in my industry (already a very, very small number) looking for someone with my experience dwindled, and I just plain lost purpose.
Which sounds totally cheesy, but it's kind of what you touched on in the last paragraph. I totally work my ass off and it makes me feel really good to contribute to something. Not having something to contribute to takes all that away.
And, of course, sitting around all day, both goofing around and worrying about when you might expect your next paycheck, really messes with your head.